Graveside Goodbyes

by James Avery Fuchs

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01:14

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released April 12, 2016

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James Avery Fuchs Arizona

Transgender writer, public speaker, spoken word artist, and trans educator

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Track Name: The End of Fate
As long as there is breath left
And even after you decay
I will be there by your side
Until the end of fate

And if you really listen
You'll never be alone
And if you really listen
Your heart will feel like home

As long as there is hope left
And even after it fades
I will be there by your side
Until the end of fate

You'll live on in the dreaming
Of a cheap silhouette
Written words on pages
But I'll never forget

As long as there is breath left
And even after you decay
I will be there by your side
Until the end of fate
Track Name: Chasing Horizons
I see Mary best in the sunset
Staring at the sky with her picture on my mind
It's been twelve months since I took it
Standing at her bedside, she didn't make the night

She wasn't always happy
But that girl, she sure could smile
And whenever I was hurting
All I had to do was dial

So now I'm chasing horizons
As the sky begins to turn black
Maybe if I catch the distance
I can bring her back

And I'm still waiting on her
To tell me why she left
Was I not enough? Was the pain too much?
Why did she leave me bereft?

Twelve months of sunsets
Still show her face
As long as the sunlight stays
She'll never be erased

But even if the sun was gone
Her memory would linger on

So now I'm chasing horizons
As the sky begins to turn black
Maybe if I catch the distance
I can bring her back

And I'm still waiting on her
To tell me why she left
Was I not enough? Was the pain too much?
Why did she leave me bereft?
Track Name: Please Come Down
Don't believe in forever
But I do believe in you
In love and in lyrics
In light and in truth

The world that swallowed you
Did so far too soon

Did you get caught up in the music?
Did you drift away on the sound?
Please come down

Did you forget that I still need you
That I don't want to be here
All alone
Please come home

Because the world that swallowed you
Did so far too soon

Don't even remember
Who I was the day
You went away
But I'll be brave

I'll push past the grief
Make a legacy
I'll build the tomorrow
You would have wanted to see

Even if I bleed

Even if I bleed

Because the world that swallowed you
Did so far too soon

Did you get caught up in the music?
Did you drift away on the sound?
Please come down

Did you forget that I still need you
That I don't want to be here
All alone
Please come home
Please come home
Track Name: Music and Song
I remember the day we first talked away,
back in a corner, where even light wouldn't stray.
The first time I saw you smile, I decided to stay.
You made life grow from the smallest of things.

You could make the dark itself believe in dawn,
and I know, wherever you've gone,
your energy will sound like music and song.
In its touch, love will live on.
Track Name: Razzle Dazzle
I'd like to say I remember a day
when scattered hopes are gathered,
but the pounding in my head
leaves me far too bruised and battered.

You've been gone for two days
and already I'm a haze
of bad dreams, restless sleep
and a numbness I can't beat

I search for happy endings
whenever I try to write,
but tonight tears pour too free,
water drowning my sight.

Tazzle, you were far too young
to be given to the Reaper.
He laid his claim just the same,
no longer here to suffer.

Razzle Dazzle, dance on stars,
but remember me someday.
Find me when I leave this life,
old and wizened gray.

We'll tumble down a rainbow
together that day.
Track Name: Sally
The history books forgot
the wars that you fought
long before you died,
but I'll never forget
that grayed bent head
or the way that you would sigh.

That lightning smile,
that flash of tears,
the kindness that filled your heart.
Fierce independence,
firey spirit,
with a wanderer's repertoire.

You told us poems,
stories of youth,
and of old age spent cruising the seas.
You lived twelve lives
in a single one.
You were a hero to me.

But old age is cruel
and slow decline
eventually took you away.
Still, after you're gone
your stories live on,
reminding me to sail free.

The history books forgot
the wars that you fought
long before you died,
but I'll never forget
that grayed bent head
or the way that you would sigh.
Track Name: Sleep Tight
There's a voice
that echoes in my ears.
Haven't heard it
in three and a half years,
yet still
I can't forget
that sonorous hum
or the way
he said
my name.

Because when he was alive
he was mine,
and the sound filled
all the broken places inside.
When I think of him now
all I can do is cry.

There's no more conversations
halfway through the night.
No more smile in his voice
as he laughs and says, "Sleep tight."
No more wondering why
I felt loved when he called me "kid."
There's just an empty space
where his hand used to fit.

We never got to exchange rings
or act on dreams
of bigger things.

We never even got
to say goodbye.

So tonight,
even if the air
is the only thing that hears,
I'll whisper "Sleep tight"
and dream of times gone by.

Because the truth is,
he'll always be mine.
Track Name: Winter Child
This is the year the blossoms wither on the branches
and love only brings tears;
your compatriots dead or dying
as you succumb to your fears.

Fear not, winter child,
blight-stained and cold.
The spring is coming
and love is bold.

This is the year the falling leaves burn to tinder
and summer melts your dreams away.
Your house is little more than cinder
and home is far from safe.

Cry not, winter child.
The bright moments are ahead.
Summer fades to distance.
Winter will smile again.

For echoing past the tears and fears,
This year will also bring
New life, old loves, and fulfillment of dreams
beyond your wildest reckoning

Smile wide, winter child
The future has arrived.
The dark days will be outnumbered
by the joy that hides inside.

Tonight,
you will connect the city lights.